Dib's Dog Days
by Pearlinprocess
Summary: The fic is almost as bad as the title. Dib's dumb big head gets bitten by a werewolf, which means he's going to turn into a hideous furry beast every month from now on. He feels self conscious about it and tries to hide, but since when has Zim ever given a crap about respecting people's personal space? Fluffy ZADF/ZADR and Gaz being cooler than both those losers. Please R and R!


It started out a normal enough night for Dib. Gaz threw a couple slices of pizza at his face and then took the rest of the box for herself, leaving him to munch on it as he watched his stupid "Mysterious Mysteries". It was one of his favorite old Bigfoot reruns, so he watched it in contentment, repeating the lines he knew were coming in his head.

Suddenly, a dark brown furry mass flashed past the front window, and Dib sat up in shock. Could it possibly be? It had been years since his last sighting of the hominid. But maybe he finally found another need to use the belt-sander...?

Quickly Dib got to his feet and rushed out the door, ignoring Gaz as she tried to ask him where he was going. Running down the street after the furry brown blob up ahead, Dib followed it as it headed into a nearby park, into a patch of trees. With his camera in front of his face, Dib looked around, "Here Bigfoot, here boy - Here yeti, yeti, yeti..."

Suddenly, the huge furry creature stepped out from behind a tree, and growled at Dib, who dropped his camera in shock and fear as he exclaimed, "Oh SHIT, you're not a yeti, you're a-AAAAAAAIIIIEEE-!"

The lupine fiend swiped out with it's huge paws, scratching Dib good and deep across the chest. It then went in to try and maim Dib more by gnawing on his big head, which of course was the most obvious target. And because the stupid boy had passed out, the savagery very well could have continued until he was dead, had a sturdy steel baseball bat not suddenly bashed the beast upside the head.

The werewolf yelped in pain and fear as Gaz stared it down, and growled ferociously. The giant dog-monster very suddenly ran off with its tail between its legs, and Gaz redirected her growl at her stupid, bleeding brother. "This is why I don't feel bad stealing your pizza, asshole..." She grumbled, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him behind her all the way back to their house.

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Dib woke up the next morning with some bandages crudely taped to his chest and head, which was pounding with pain. He was also running a pretty high fever at 101, so he decided to stay home from school. He tossed and turned in bed all day, trying not to vomit. Most sick days he could at least watch TV and surf the internet, but today he felt so shitty that he couldn't even do that.

A few hours later Gaz got home, who glared and threw a bottle at him, which hit him in the stomach before he could catch it. "What-?"

She explained irritably, "You got bit by a werewolf tonight, so that probably means you're gonna be a werewolf now. You need to drink that shit before the moon comes up or you'll lose your mind and start trying to kill people."

He read the label on the bottle and his eyes went wide. "Wolf's-bane potion? Where did you get Wolf's-bane potion?!"

She glared and growled, "Where else do you get weird shit like that? The internet, DUH. Now you better drink it, because I also got some silver bullets for your ass if you don't!"

He gulped and nodded in acknowledgment of her warning, before opening the bottle and throwing it back, forcing himself to swallow the disgusting, bitter formula inside. "So how do we know if this stuff works...?"

He suddenly swallowed nervously as he heard the 'clicks' of Gaz loading a handful of bullets into a old-fashioned gun. "Well, if you're not dead in the morning, that means it worked."

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When night fell and the moon came out, Dib began to pace around his room. He'd never felt more anxious in his entire life. It was like he wanted to scratch off his skin and crawl out of it!

Suddenly, that's almost exactly what happened - A horrible pain surfaced on every inch of Dib's skin, and dark grey and brownish-black fur began to sprout up in great patches all over him, until it consumed his entire body. His face, feet and hands began to stretch and distort, and just when it seemed like the pain was becoming too intolerable to bear any longer, that was when it finally stopped.

Dib had crumpled up onto the floor like a wuss, and after taking a few calming breaths, he picked himself back up again. It already looked bad from what he could see, feeling over the coarse, shaggy fur that was now covering his arms. It felt weird against clothes, itchy - He really felt like taking them off, since they had torn anyways, but he refrained, lest Gaz take his nakedness as a sign of him losing his humanity, and shoot him. He did, however, take his bushy new tail out of his shorts, as that was much too terribly uncomfortable to ignore.

Sighing deeply, he trudged over to his full-length mirror to fully inspect the damage. Damn, he looked weird. As if the canine race had vomited all over him. Oh well, at least he could just stay home when his new 'time of the month' came up. That way, no one would ever see how hideous he looked-

CLICK!

Dib immediately turned, paranoid, as he saw the flash of light go off behind him, and turned to see what it was coming from. It was Zim, holding a camera up to his face, suspended by his PAK-legs outside of his window.

Dib growled, the sound now very much like an angry dog's, and opened his window, dragging the nosy alien inside. "ZIM! What the HELL do you think you're doing-?!"

Zim poked him back in the chest harshly. "You weren't in school today so I came to see if you were dead! What the hell are YOU doing, covered in all this weird fur? Is this some kind of new fetish for you, Dib?"

Dib burned with a blush, even though it couldn't be seen through all his new facial hair. He HAD been hoping some stubble might start coming in soon, but not like THIS... "It's not a fetish or a costume! I was bitten by a werewolf, okay asshole? That means from now on I'm going to change into a half-wolf, half-man whenever the full moon is up, and I'll have to hide my hideousness from the world..."

Zim was about to rub it in, but by the look on the human's face, he could tell he was actually really self-conscious about it. So instead, the alien commented after a short pause, "...You know, actually? I think you look better like this."

"Shut the fuck up." Dib replied in a sigh, not believing him.

"YOU shut the fuck up! I'm serious!" The alien insisted. "It's really WEIRD, because I usually think your hair is one of the most disgusting parts of you, but you actually look better covered all over in it. Like a normal alien-beast-monster from planet Canine-789. Hey, does your leg go crazy when your ears get scratched too?"

Reaching up, Zim began to rub and scratch behind Dib's new wolf-ears, and just as had been suspected, Dib's legs began to twitch and his tail began to wag. Zim howled with laughter and amusement, "Oh your god, it actually does!"

"Hey, don't stop..." Dib insisted, pushing his head again Zim's claws, which for once felt nice scratching against his now much thicker skin. "That feels nice..."

Zim rolled his eyes. "And just what am I supposed to be getting out of this?" He asked, selfish as always.

"Well..." Dib smirked, and suddenly pounced on the alien, lapping at his cheek with his sandpaper-like tongue. "You won't have to put up with me doing this~!"

"ACK! EW! GET OFF OF ME, YOU STINKY, FILTHY-HNNGH!"

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End file.
